Pivot

Cuddly babies are the best, if they are someone else’s. Three weeks of training in New York and two of my highlights (apart from actual highlights, courtesy impulsive decision) are cycling in Central Park and that cute sumo wrestler-esque chubby baby in the Subway station. She was 5 months old and looked like she could take a 5-year-old in a fight; turns out the nurses and docs had scared her mum- a young woman with sparkling eyes and curly hair, incredibly composed for a new mom- by saying that her child was weak and frail. I get “prevention is better than cure” and all that, but the kindness we give to new moms leaves a lot to be hoped. Ancient cultures and traditions involved complete rest, traveling to your mothers’ homes, and being fully pampered for up to a whole year – the mom more than the baby. In today’s fast paced world, let alone NYC-paced world, 10 weeks of maternity leave is easily scoffed at. What do you mean you just created life within you – have you forgotten Fayol's espirit de corps? None of the men who wrote business philosophies and efficiency theories even considered a woman being on the shop floor.

I don’t really get to complain, do I? I went on an almost all-expenses paid trip across the world in the longest domestic flight to be trained as a valuable employee. I spent every waking day exploring neighborhoods and spending money with a vengeance. Almost reeks of privilege, and yet I still can’t believe it was me who sang in a rooftop or wandered through Wall Street. Traveled on New York’s oldest Subway car – found out when someone tried to jam their way in, and the driver curtly informed that “this train isn’t automated for your impatience”. Walked across the Brooklyn Bridge, ate fresh pizza, sketched in a park while I waited for it to stop raining, cycled so much my heart almost gave out again, barely avoided being attacked by a homeless man and still survived (guess they don’t like happy single women in any part of the world), ate cheesecake from Magnolia Bakery, saw the Empire State light up in the tricolour on August 15, made my way out when the bus dropped me in the middle of truck yard in New Jersey, bought a Polaroid in a flea market, went on the Staten Island ferry, made friends from Tokyo, London, Connecticut, Hong Kong and Sydney, and most importantly – tipped! Oh, the social anxiety if you dare not to tip. Now that was an easy example of how wrong capitalism can go – the five smells of NYC being the other.

“Would you live here?” – asks one of the local grads and I don’t even hesitate before saying nope. It is a beautiful city with so much history in each of its brownstones, but it is so overwhelming! There is always a crowd moving about in a hum, rushing, and pushing, and you need to have eyes on the back of your head at all times. I’d rather live without that much mental exertion on a daily basis, having grown a very sheltered life with no practice of it. The sigh of relief when I landed in Changi was surprising, this still-new country of four months was definitely more like home – with some serenity and sweetness to it. But yes, I thank New York for making sure I never doubt myself again- if I could get this far by remaining stupidly stubbornly ambitious, what is to stop me now?

Although, what I didn’t expect is being the person who does their makeup in the car while running late for work at 07:28 AM… I wonder if the 15-year-old Aishwarya who couldn't tumble out of bed before 11 AM, was told this is what being a woman starting in finance meant, would she have bothered lifting her pen to study? Or maybe she would – even today when any girl of my generation says “oh, at the end of the day, I don’t want to be the responsible take charge person of the family” followed by sentences I can’t wrap my head around, I mentally squirm. To each their own of course, but why are these roles still so innately wound in people’s minds? Has no one seen Moana or played a game of chess before? I have, went to a tournament when I was 13 and was promptly defeated by a 7-year-old in four moves. In my defense, I was playing to lose….